Doing Happiness

Doing Happiness. I don’t know about you, but I learned from an early age that happiness is earned by accomplishing things, getting things, changing things on the outside, changing how we look, how we act, who we have in our life etc. I see it time and again with people I work with – people feeling blindly for who they are – why is it that we were never taught how to be ourselves?

My whole coaching paradigm is built on knowing ourselves, and being comfortable, secure and whole in ourselves as a starting point. Authenticity as an entry point to happiness.  Maybe it’s more accurate to say that we were not allowed to just be ourselves.

I also learned early on that good people put themselves last – and others first. This led me on a ultimately ruinous series of relationships and life patterns – that only ceased when I began to give myself permission to self care.

If you’re anything like me, you were always being “something” for somebody else. When I finally stopped chasing other’s approval, and sought instead to be grounded in myself, I began to feel the warmth and glow of happiness. I could stop chasing happiness, It was with me all along. We are chasing because we are not happy.

Happiness comes from being in the moment observing life in a non-judgemental way including ourselves. Almost the definition of mindfulness. Happiness is coming from that heart centred place. That is who we are naturally, but we have lost touch with that very basic part of ourselves. We need to re-learn how to be again and make choices that are in-line with who we are at our essential nature, our core. It’s about consciously choosing not to live a life based on the conditioning that we have experienced or someone else’s expectations.

We take happiness for granted, and put conditions on it. “I will be happy when..”  “As soon as x, then I will be happy…” Even the trick of delaying happiness until a holiday, or retirement, or the weekend, or tonight.

Doing Happiness

If you observe closely you will start to see the conditions that you have put in place and are basically guiding your life. The problem is, when you meet one of those conditions; the ideal job, the ideal partner, losing weight or nearing Friday afternoon, you find that it is not true happiness. But instead, a mirage – an illusion that begins dissolving back into the horizon just as quickly as you approach it.

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True happiness is realizing there is nothing wrong with you or anything in your experience. Happiness begins with self acceptance.

Happiness is realizing that nothing needs to change about you or the world. It is not based on anything being different… it comes from simply being present in your experience, simply observing and making choices from that heart centered place, from that mindful state of being that is with you always.

I’m hoping you want to explore you own relationship with happiness and that begins with an Awareness Upgrade.  Take the plunge…

Solace of Stillness

Many people I meet say something like “I probably should move onto something new, but why should I?” It’s said in different ways, with different aspects of life, but essentially it’s the same sort of idea.

Eventually we all reach a level of competence in one area and it actually a becomes a comfort zone. So why would anyone volunteer to leave a comfort zone and start over from scratch?

It’s as if only people who have suffered tragedy or personal challenge or live circumstance that forces them to change have to go through the process. Otherwise, leave me alone, I’m sticking with what I know.

It makes a whole lot of sense on one level – why risk going through the stages of learning, discovery, trial and error, re-setting your course, maybe changing focus – and then doing all this with no guarantee of anything at the end?

It can seem like it is actually just a big mistake – or a type of mid life rebellion that will only bring struggle and uncertainty.

But, on the other hand, it can be like opening a new door into a new life. Like actually venturing in and seeing for yourself if the grass is actually greener, and how amazingly light and giddy with excitement and newness it might be.

My personal experience with stepping off my nine-to-five train has been filled with freedom and discovery. But also the quiet patience learned from being comfortable with less, and the humble acceptance of an indeterminate status along with a sense of not quite knowing when I will finally arrive.

During this journey I have gone from spending my spare time wandering around electrical appliance stores, looking for the next purchase – to walking with small groups along the beach or through the rainforest sharing mindfulness.

I’ve gone from depending on crowds and things and events to keep me distracted from myself – to actually thriving on the solace of stillness and the composure of calm.

“I cannot see or hear but I find hundreds of things to interest me,” she said. She loved to feel the smooth skin of a silver birch tree or the rough shaggy bark of a pine. “If I’m lucky,” she said, “I can put my hand on a small tree and feel it quiver as a bird sings in its branches.” Helen Keller

I can put my hand on a small tree and feel it quiver as a bird sings in its branches. Helen Keller Click To Tweet

It’s a journey into self acceptance and that gentle space where I can reflect that nothing I do to the external world can truly shape my internal world like mindfulness and the quiet breathwork of meditation.

And that’s where I’m inviting you to come along for an experience of mindfulness. You can join me walking around the scenic spots of Newcastle, mornings and afternoons, sunrise and twilight, by going to

We are constantly evolving the schedule to suit the needs of our wellness walkers, as well as seasonal conditions, so be sure to check what’s happening on our Facebook page at